♔ keep calm & stay legit

#procrastination

What Makes You Hideous

 a one direction parody by mimmy nadia chenyao

You’re so damn sure

Don’t know what for

You make me cringe when you walk through the door

Too much makeup

Yet not enough

Both your looks and your face really suck

Everyone else in the room is thinking it

I just thought I’d tell you

Honey your face scares the crap out of everyone

All the guys you hit up turn and run

You hook up with people that get dared to kiss

The ugliest girl

Sorry but you’re hideous

If only you saw what we all see

You’ll understand why I hate you so openly

Right now I’m gonna tell you what I really think

I just can’t resist

Sorry but you’re hideous

That’s what makes you hideous

Oh girl come on

I know it’s wrong

To justify I wrote my rant in a song

You make me cry

And wanna die

You make me sick when you tell me your lies

Everyone else in the room is thinking it

I just thought that I’d tell you

Honey your face scares the crap out of everyone

All the guys you hit up turn and run

You hook up with people that get dared to kiss

The ugliest girl

Sorry but you’re hideous

If only you saw what we all see

You’ll understand why I hate you so openly

Right now I’m gonna tell you what I really think

I just can’t resist

Sorry but you’re hideous

That’s what makes you hideous

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa ha

Ha hahahahaha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa ha

Ha hahahahaha

Honey your face scares the crap out of everyone

All the guys you hit up turn and run

You hook up with people that get dared to kiss

The ugliest girl

Sorry but you’re hideous

If only you saw what we all see

You’ll understand why I hate you so openly

Right now I’m gonna tell you what I really think

I just can’t resist

Sorry but you’re hideous

Sorry but you’re hideous

That’s what makes you hideous

<3

Confessions of a Wannabe Slut - Chapter 3

chapter 3 of a story im writing . (c) 2012 mimmy chenyao

“…and that’s why I missed the rest of class.” I finally exhaled. “I’m sorry. I totally lost track of time.”

            Grayson didn’t look up from his computer screen. “You know, Miss Carter, that this technically counts as cutting class. Under normal circumstances, this would mean two weeks of detention for you and Mr. Aster both.”

            “But?” I prodded, wiping my sweaty palms on the side of my dress. More than two detentions in a row resulted in a call home. And I tried to keep the school away from my family as much as possible.

            “But, seeing that this is your first time committing an infraction and that both of you have an A in this class, I’m willing to let it go.”

            Relief flooded onto Bennett’s face. “Thank you, sir. I promise it won’t happen again.”

            “It better not. Now scram. I have a class coming in soon.”

            We scrammed.                                       

            “That was close,” sighed Bennett as soon as we were in the hallway. “I can’t believe he’s going easy on us. This is Wilson we’re talking about.”

            “Yeah, I thought he was gonna call my parents or something,” I agreed. “Courtyard or caf?” We both had a free now and I desperately needed to relax.

            “Courtyard. It’s nice out.” Bennett loosened his tie. “Have you seen Covington anywhere? We’re supposed to present in Spanish together and our PowerPoint’s barely started.”

            “You know Covington. He’s probably tener una orgia en su dormitorio.”

            “Ew.”

            “Te gusta Covington, Bennett?” I teased.

            Bennett looked horrified. “No! Nein. Nyet. Non.”

            “I’m sure,” I said sarcastically.

            “He’s an insult to cute guys everywhere.”

            I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so now he’s ‘cute’? Nice. Very nice. I’ll be sure to let him know.”

            “I said that he was an insult to cute guys. Not that…oh, never mind.”

            Emerson was still by the fountain, lying down with a book over his eyes. I snatched it off and he almost fell off the side.

          “Dude,” he snapped. “Some of us are trying to sleep here.” Emerson squinted at us. “Aurora? Bennett? What time is it?”

            “Time for second period.” I stepped forward so that I was blocking the sun from his face. “You have, like, five minutes to get to class.”

            “Oh.” He put his glasses on and blinked a few times. “Thanks for waking me up.”

            “Anytime, bro. What were you doing by yourself in the courtyard?”

            “Hiding from my stalkers. They’re all, like, eighth and ninth graders that think it’s funny to follow me around and distract me.”

            “You’re in the courtyard,” I pointed out. “That’s not exactly the best place to hide from people.”

            “That’s why I had this.” He tapped the book, which was one of the books from the Hunger Games trilogy, Catching Fire. I wondered if it was my copy that he’d stolen from our dorm. “Plus, this is the high school campus, first period in the morning. No one’s here that early except—”

            “Emerson!” a girl in the distance called. Emerson’s face paled. “Fuck, that’s Ellie, the most annoying one of my stalkers.” He speed-packed as he spoke, stuffing the book into his bag. “Sorry, but gotta run.”

            Ellie came up to Bennett and me just as Emerson was out of sight. She was small and slightly chubby, with short blonde hair and red cheeks. She wore the white polo and red-and-gold plaid kilt of the middle school.

            “Have you seen Emerson?” she asked in a slightly bossy tone.

            “Yeah, he just left,” Bennett told her before I could stop him. “He went towards the science building.”

            “Why does he keep running away from me?” Ellie wondered aloud.

            I shrugged. “He’s probably just busy.”

            She nodded. “Me and my friends all like him ‘cause he looks like Zayn Malik. And Zayn’s like the cutest guy in the whole band.”

            “Nuh uh,” Bennett argued. “Harry is.”

            “How could you say that? Zayn’s gorgeous.”

           “Okay,” I interrupted before they could start talking about the latest Riverdale obsession, One Direction.

            “Aw, this was just getting good,” complained Bennett.

            Ellie studied us with curiosity. “Are you two going out?”

            “What?” we both said at the same time. “No!”

            “Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “Well, you should. You two would look so cute together.”

            “We can’t,” Bennett explained. “I’m gay.”

            “Ohhhh.” She nodded. “So you’re best friends then?”

            “Yup. Aurora’s a good friend and all, but…” Bennett lowered his voice. “She’s not really my type, if you know what I mean.”

           Ellie giggled, obviously pleased that a tenth grader was actually giving her the time ofd ay. “You’re cute. Wait,” she said to me. “Did he just say your name was Aurora? As in Aurora Carter, the girl my brother likes?”

            “Um…yeah, I guess? Who’s your brother?”

            She seemed shocked that I didn’t know. “Percy, obviously. I mean Paul.” Ellie reddened slightly. “I call him Percy ‘cause we were obsessed with Greek mythology, like, three years ago. He called me Andromeda.”

            “Oh. Uh, right.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Oh, I hate your brother’s fucking ass. Yeah, that would definitely go over well with his sister.

            “He talks about you a lot, you know.” She looked me up and down. “Percy’s right, by the way. You do look like a Barbie. Only you might want to go to Victoria’s Secret for some help in the chest department.”

            Bennett snorted. I gave him a look that would freeze ice. “Thanks, I guess,” I said awkwardly.

            “No problem.” She grinned. “Oh. And one more thing.” She pulled out a Sharpie. “Can I see your arm for a second?”

            I sighed and held it out to her.

            “Give this to Emerson.” She scribbled something on my arm. When she was done, 201 808 6011 was written down my lower arm. Great. With my luck, it was probably semipermanent ink and I’d have to walk around with a weird eighth grader’s number down my arm for the rest of the week.

            “That’s my number.” As if it weren’t obvious. “Oh yeah, and if you text me I’ll give Percy’s to you, too.” She waved. “Bye, guys.”

            “Bye,” Bennett called. As soon as she was gone I groaned loudly as Bennett cracked up.

            “Oh God. That made my day,” he said in between gasps. “I officially like that girl.” He reached up to wipe his eyes. “That’s really some stalker Emerson has.”